STOP GIVING ME PRESENTATIONS THROUGH THE MAIL.
“Tell them what you’re going to tell them, tell them and then tell them what you told them.”
That’s how the saying goes for giving effective presentations, right? Fine, that’s all well and good, and if you ever plan on presenting to me in person, online, or on the phone, this “formula” is yours for the using. But what has me upset enough to man my computer and lay hand to keyboard is when companies, from whom I’m expecting something, find it necessary to send auxiliary correspondence about the impeding arrival of my parcel. The letter in its vagueness contains no information of value, only offering that “your (insert desired item here) will be arriving shortly.” The best part of all is that 11 times out of 10 this letter arrives after I have received the item I was expecting. My most recent encouter with this blatant waste of paper and man hours was thanks to American Express. I ordered an American Express Corporate Card through my company two months ago, finally receiving in a couple days ago. The material in the envelope ensured me that it would be cocked, locked and ready to rock as soon as I called the customer service number on the sticker on the card. I did. It works. I was happy - until I received another letter from Amex. This thing of beauty reads, in its entirety:
“I am pleased to offer you an American Express Corporate Card at the request of your company. Your Corporate card has been issued and will be sent under separate cover together with details about the benefits you will enjoy as an American Express Corporate Cardmember. To accept this offer, simply activate the Corporate Card by following the instructions that will accompany the card. If you have any further questions, please call us at 1-888-XXX-XXXX.”
I’m trying hard to find the reason they sent that to me. I read it thrice. I checked the back. I shook the envelope hoping, no praying that something, anything would fall out. I even asked around at my office to see if anyone had a blacklight handy so I may play CSI and look for clues. Alas, my day must go on.
